He's patient and kind, thoughtful and hard-working, and we love him so much!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thankful
I have so many things to be thankful for this year. Hunter is a big blessing; really, he's very large :) But he wouldn't even be here without Jeremy. And neither would my sanity. Jeremy makes me thankful every day. Just this morning, he was up at 4:30 to run, then did the week's grocery shopping and some baby laundry, all before we woke up. Then he was off to work for a few hours until he brought me lunch and sent me out the door to ride my bike. This wasn't an isolated incident either. Sunday morning he got up at 4 with the baby so I could sleep an hour before he drove to El Paso to pick up a friend at the airport. Then he headed in to work for a while. On a Sunday. He is the best.
He's patient and kind, thoughtful and hard-working, and we love him so much!
He's patient and kind, thoughtful and hard-working, and we love him so much!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The State of the Running Legs
Isn't marathon season always exciting? I don't actually do many open marathons, and I am not training for one now, but the fall is just the perfect time for running, since biking and swimming outdoors is starting to get a little cold and windy. I have been doing a lot of base training-type running for the past, oh, year or so now, and I do feel my running legs coming back very slowly. But a funny pain started a few months ago. When lying on my side in bed, usually while being kept awake by a nursing baby boy, I have had some extreme pain in the hips. I know pregnant women have this problem, but I never did while pregnant.
I have had pain in the general hip region on and off for years, which jumps around from hamstring, to gluteus medius area, maybe some piriformis pain thrown in there, and even bouts with niggling hip flexors. Last year I spent some time going to physical therapy for it all. He was stretching me by bringing my knee up and across my body, and it hurt, and not in a good, stretchy-type of way. When I exclaimed, he said, hmmm, kind of seems like a labral tear. I didn't really think much about that at the time, and then last week it hit me: I have a tear in my hip labrum! I started doing some googling and I had another epiphany. Back in 2008, I think I was training for Boston (when you didn't have 5 minutes to sign up). I ran my best half marathon, then continued with my sister another 7 or so miles of her marathon relay leg. Afterward I could barely walk from hip flexor pain. I went to a doctor who said I did not have a femoral neck fracture, thankfully, and that it must just be my soft tissue. Now I conclude that this was probably referred pain from my labral tear as well. Just wish I had been diagnosed then.
As nice as it is to now have a "diagnosis" (can't I diagnose myself?), I am not planning on having anything done to it surgically. I might not even go through the whole rigmarole of going to the clinic to get a referral for an orthopedist to look at it then being told to go to PT, then months later when that doesn't help, having an MRI to confirm. I will just look up some strengthening exercises and rely on PTs (Damie, please!) to tell me what to do to minimize the pain -- unless it gets really excruciating. I am having a lot of sacroiliac joint pain in the same leg lately that I am now suspecting is related. Hrmph. Stupid right hip! Stupid right hamstring! You have always been the fatter, less muscular one (a DEXA told me that). Having something specific to blame my crazy hips on at least gives me a good excuse to skip a few miles here and there.
Strange as it sounds coming from a girl, one area I have found to be lacking lately is my backside. Despite my pregnancy efforts to put on some muscle as part of my weight gain, I have found that my previously large gluteus maximus area is not quite as maximus as it used to be (not that my pants are complaining). Ah ha! That's where the 2 or 3 pounds I've dipped under pre-pregnancy weight came from. This is probably due in part to the weekly mileage of my bike rides being about what my running is, but I need to start making an effort to strengthen that area, as well as my lower back. The latter takes a beating in daily baby walking; the bending over to hold little hands is a back breaker. It could be my floor sitting posture as well. Hunter has the straightest little back when he sits; he is setting a good example. Surely strengthening here can't hurt the hip problem.
Another target area is the abs, which have been deceiving me. They have definition, with a little extra separation going on, but they are still lacking their pre-pregnancy strength. And I know know know how important these muscles are in those oh-so-minor things like keeping my upper body upright. I am so glad I did not hear before I had a c-section that nobody ever has a flat stomach again (it is not true, btw), or I would probably have been too depressed to ever try. And while I do find them too relaxed, I also still find it kind of icky to work on my transverse abdominus. I mean, I see the scar on my skin from the incision and can only imagine what the inside of me looks like.
I really had expectations of coming back to running quickly after having a baby. I based this off my crazy sister and her epic hill running starting when her baby was 10 days old. That was my idea of a normal return to running. Apparently when you are cut wide open, expectations go out the window. Since I was not even standing up straight for a week after the surgery, much less walking around the block, returning to running took a little while. I had to slowly increase my walking from 2/3 mi per day around 10 days out up to 25 miles a week at 3 weeks. Then when the baby was 4 weeks old, I got up my courage, headed out with the stroller, and ran 3 miles straight. If you can call 11 minute miles "running." I still had pain and an uncomfortable stretching feeling in the incision area for a while, but at least my legs felt great. It was a lot harder than I expected. Of course, I never expected a c-section!
It has been good for me to have this last year plus to do steady paced runs and really enjoy every workout. But now do my legs remember how to pace a race? I keep looking at the website for a nearby half marathon in a couple of weeks, but I have NO idea how to run one anymore. It's been almost 3 years! I guess I should get back to it sometime, and as they say, there is no time like the present.
I have had pain in the general hip region on and off for years, which jumps around from hamstring, to gluteus medius area, maybe some piriformis pain thrown in there, and even bouts with niggling hip flexors. Last year I spent some time going to physical therapy for it all. He was stretching me by bringing my knee up and across my body, and it hurt, and not in a good, stretchy-type of way. When I exclaimed, he said, hmmm, kind of seems like a labral tear. I didn't really think much about that at the time, and then last week it hit me: I have a tear in my hip labrum! I started doing some googling and I had another epiphany. Back in 2008, I think I was training for Boston (when you didn't have 5 minutes to sign up). I ran my best half marathon, then continued with my sister another 7 or so miles of her marathon relay leg. Afterward I could barely walk from hip flexor pain. I went to a doctor who said I did not have a femoral neck fracture, thankfully, and that it must just be my soft tissue. Now I conclude that this was probably referred pain from my labral tear as well. Just wish I had been diagnosed then.
As nice as it is to now have a "diagnosis" (can't I diagnose myself?), I am not planning on having anything done to it surgically. I might not even go through the whole rigmarole of going to the clinic to get a referral for an orthopedist to look at it then being told to go to PT, then months later when that doesn't help, having an MRI to confirm. I will just look up some strengthening exercises and rely on PTs (Damie, please!) to tell me what to do to minimize the pain -- unless it gets really excruciating. I am having a lot of sacroiliac joint pain in the same leg lately that I am now suspecting is related. Hrmph. Stupid right hip! Stupid right hamstring! You have always been the fatter, less muscular one (a DEXA told me that). Having something specific to blame my crazy hips on at least gives me a good excuse to skip a few miles here and there.
Strange as it sounds coming from a girl, one area I have found to be lacking lately is my backside. Despite my pregnancy efforts to put on some muscle as part of my weight gain, I have found that my previously large gluteus maximus area is not quite as maximus as it used to be (not that my pants are complaining). Ah ha! That's where the 2 or 3 pounds I've dipped under pre-pregnancy weight came from. This is probably due in part to the weekly mileage of my bike rides being about what my running is, but I need to start making an effort to strengthen that area, as well as my lower back. The latter takes a beating in daily baby walking; the bending over to hold little hands is a back breaker. It could be my floor sitting posture as well. Hunter has the straightest little back when he sits; he is setting a good example. Surely strengthening here can't hurt the hip problem.
Another target area is the abs, which have been deceiving me. They have definition, with a little extra separation going on, but they are still lacking their pre-pregnancy strength. And I know know know how important these muscles are in those oh-so-minor things like keeping my upper body upright. I am so glad I did not hear before I had a c-section that nobody ever has a flat stomach again (it is not true, btw), or I would probably have been too depressed to ever try. And while I do find them too relaxed, I also still find it kind of icky to work on my transverse abdominus. I mean, I see the scar on my skin from the incision and can only imagine what the inside of me looks like.
I really had expectations of coming back to running quickly after having a baby. I based this off my crazy sister and her epic hill running starting when her baby was 10 days old. That was my idea of a normal return to running. Apparently when you are cut wide open, expectations go out the window. Since I was not even standing up straight for a week after the surgery, much less walking around the block, returning to running took a little while. I had to slowly increase my walking from 2/3 mi per day around 10 days out up to 25 miles a week at 3 weeks. Then when the baby was 4 weeks old, I got up my courage, headed out with the stroller, and ran 3 miles straight. If you can call 11 minute miles "running." I still had pain and an uncomfortable stretching feeling in the incision area for a while, but at least my legs felt great. It was a lot harder than I expected. Of course, I never expected a c-section!
It has been good for me to have this last year plus to do steady paced runs and really enjoy every workout. But now do my legs remember how to pace a race? I keep looking at the website for a nearby half marathon in a couple of weeks, but I have NO idea how to run one anymore. It's been almost 3 years! I guess I should get back to it sometime, and as they say, there is no time like the present.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
News of November
We started the month out in Fort Worth for Jonathan and Colleen's wedding, which was Hunter's first nuptial ceremony to attend. Truth be told, he skipped the actual ceremony in favor of a nap, but hit the rehearsal dinner, where he rode a longhorn bull,
and made it out way past his bedtime for the reception, to which he wore his baseball socks in support of the groom. Besides the happy couple, he also got to meet Laura for the first time, and he could tell right away that she is an older sister of two brothers.
The weekend trip to Texas wouldn't have been complete without shopping at Trader Joe's. Our cart was filled with just the essentials that we could pack back home: coffee, wine, cookies, and to make us look healthy, quinoa (it's super cheap there). When we were wished "a blessed evening" before noon, we realized we've been in the southwest so long, we forgot some of our beloved southernisms.
Onto our big (expensive) news! We bought a house. Yes, we have about six more months here in the rural desert, but over the summer when we were in Little Rock, we found the most perfect house, and Jeremy found a great group of pediatricians who offered him a job. The house is about a third of a mile up a monster hill from my sister and brother-in-law and their three children, and it's a new build. We will have about twice as much room in it as this current rental we are in, and since we are exploding at the seams (with baby and bike stuff), it'll be a welcome expansion. The backyard backs up onto a small strip of green space, and the lot on one side is owned but there aren't any immediate plans to build on it, so it's somewhat private. Since we are at the top of the hill, we plan on riding our bikes down to the cousins', and then having them drive us back up. Plus, it's apparently the big sledding hill of the neighborhood when it snows, and we are a short (and flat) walk to the pool and playground.
Whew, November is not even half over and it's been a big month.
(sorry for the fuzzy faded pics!)
The weekend trip to Texas wouldn't have been complete without shopping at Trader Joe's. Our cart was filled with just the essentials that we could pack back home: coffee, wine, cookies, and to make us look healthy, quinoa (it's super cheap there). When we were wished "a blessed evening" before noon, we realized we've been in the southwest so long, we forgot some of our beloved southernisms.
Onto our big (expensive) news! We bought a house. Yes, we have about six more months here in the rural desert, but over the summer when we were in Little Rock, we found the most perfect house, and Jeremy found a great group of pediatricians who offered him a job. The house is about a third of a mile up a monster hill from my sister and brother-in-law and their three children, and it's a new build. We will have about twice as much room in it as this current rental we are in, and since we are exploding at the seams (with baby and bike stuff), it'll be a welcome expansion. The backyard backs up onto a small strip of green space, and the lot on one side is owned but there aren't any immediate plans to build on it, so it's somewhat private. Since we are at the top of the hill, we plan on riding our bikes down to the cousins', and then having them drive us back up. Plus, it's apparently the big sledding hill of the neighborhood when it snows, and we are a short (and flat) walk to the pool and playground.
Probably my favorite room in the house
Whew, November is not even half over and it's been a big month.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Learning the first sport
It's really quite interesting to watch him learn new skills. How does a baby figure out how to move the appropriate limb at the right time? I've tried to give verbal instructions and even demonstrations of crawling, but he's just not interested. He knows that his hands are free and he is fast while being assisted in walking, so why would he want to scuff up those soft fat knees? But he has learned to hold objects in his mouth, which could come in handy crawling.
Even having a good understanding of the English language, some people have trouble taking verbal instructions or even demonstrations of movements and applying them effectively. Let's take swimming as an example--hypothetical, of course. You can tell someone, lets say me, to keep my elbows high all day, or possibly for 5 years straight, and I still may not get it. One day it might click that "high elbows" means during the pull -- but maybe not. Some of us just don't have the kinesthetic awareness that others, like maybe our husbands, have.
Watching H learn how his fingers work when he picks up tiny puffs and successfully places them in his mouth, or when he grabs for a block too aggressively and it flies out of reach, is so fascinating. I took an entire class in grad school on motor learning, but having real life demonstrations by baby H is far more interesting.
In case you haven't thought about it lately, I want to remind you of the importance the laws of physics have on walking in addition to the coordination it takes. Occasionally Hunter's confidence trumps his understanding of these laws and it can result in a teeter or tumble. Like when he decides he can walk while only holding one of my hands. But sometimes he just suddenly figures things out. He was sitting next to our dresser one night, grabbed a handle in each hand, and pulled himself right up to standing. He did it the next day on a toy. Now he thinks he can do it one-handed.
Practice makes perfect they say, and just like running more miles makes you a more economical runner, the more steps you practice, the sooner you'll walk. Right now H tends to take a giant step, almost a lunge, with his left foot, leaving the right one to catch up. We walk in circles sometimes. I suppose this teaches me that practice of techniques in swimming should be a bit more frequent. Eventually I'll learn.
With H's first Olympic sport to be conquered soon, next we will move on to the real money sport: basketball.
Monday, October 29, 2012
What? More Dopers?
Does anyone else feel relieved by news of cyclists, and now Kenyan runners, doping? It makes you feel like tons of the top athletes in many sports are doing it, which says to me one thing: I don't suck as bad as I thought. All these superfast times and huge power outputs that seem so so unattainable (I mean, even a small percentage seems unattainable to me) can be at least partly attributed to blood doping, EPO, steroids, and hgh. Hallelujah. I just got a tiny bit faster in comparison.
If I really think about all the disadvantages I'm giving myself, it's really no wonder I'm not a better athlete. Not only do I not take anything that can be perceived of as performance enhancing, but I also put a lot of stuff in me that can't be helping. All the Halloween candy, Nutella by the spoonful, ice cream, pie, brownies, "sips" of Jeremy's coke, cupcakes from the new place in town-- that's kind of the opposite of doping. On top of that I only sleep in 45-60 minute naps this week, lift 21 pounds over and over with my lower back every day, and carry that load mostly on one hip for hours a day.
I cut myself a break yesterday on the bike when I was struggling again with that mark of 4 watts/kg (what a well trained cyclist "should" do for 40 mins), because after all, who sets these power standards? It certainly wasn't set by nursing mother of a high energy 7 month old who never really sleeps! But if that's you, and you think that's an easy mark, please don't tell me.
If I really think about all the disadvantages I'm giving myself, it's really no wonder I'm not a better athlete. Not only do I not take anything that can be perceived of as performance enhancing, but I also put a lot of stuff in me that can't be helping. All the Halloween candy, Nutella by the spoonful, ice cream, pie, brownies, "sips" of Jeremy's coke, cupcakes from the new place in town-- that's kind of the opposite of doping. On top of that I only sleep in 45-60 minute naps this week, lift 21 pounds over and over with my lower back every day, and carry that load mostly on one hip for hours a day.
I cut myself a break yesterday on the bike when I was struggling again with that mark of 4 watts/kg (what a well trained cyclist "should" do for 40 mins), because after all, who sets these power standards? It certainly wasn't set by nursing mother of a high energy 7 month old who never really sleeps! But if that's you, and you think that's an easy mark, please don't tell me.
Happy Halloween y'all!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Running in the Dark
That title sounds like a great metaphor for something. But it's really not. I just get up well before dawn lately to get my running in. I realize that it's not noteworthy for most people, especially the endurance types, but I have always always valued my sleep over everything except maybe food. Really delicious food only. In the past I've rolled out of bed 10 minutes before 5:30 a.m. master's, maybe 15 minutes before my 4:55 a.m. meet up with Nancy on the bike, and super early before the only thing that I'm always on time to-- races.
Since a certain someone was born, I've found that if the running isn't done before the husband goes to work, it's not going to happen. I'm still working on (contemplating) fitting the cycling back in on weekdays since the sun only rises after 7. But for now I'm enjoying my very dark runs. This town has some sort of ban on street lights-- something about the solar observatory nearby? that doesn't really make sense-- so there is ONE on my half mile long street. It doesn't get brighter from there, so unless the full moon is out, my headlamp, wrapped around my arm for easy button access, is necessary.
Running up in the coyote's neighborhood has me a little paranoid, and hearing the hissing of a sprinkler might have made me jump a few times (I swear it sounds just like a rattlesnake), and I may have startled and shined my superbright light in a guy's face since HE wasn't even wearing reflective clothing and was running right at me. I tend to turn the light off when I can make out the edge of the road and there are no cars nearby. It's quiet and cool and I can watch the sky over the mountains get lighter and lighter. And there are millions of stars!
There is an unfortunate new blemish in my route: a huge yellow concrete wall surrounding a developing neighborhood of crappy little houses. It completely blocks the mountain view that I had along the path for about a quarter mile. In some spots it's easily 10 feet tall, and it's so prison-like I'm completely expecting glass shards and razor wire to be added to the top soon. At least on my way out it is so dark I don't miss the view as much. I keep dreaming of ways to make it go away, all of which are unfortunately illegal. Darn.
Since running has been such a nice way to start the day, I'm having a hard time doing any type of intensity other than relaxed. It's just so nice to switch my brain off and enjoy myself. There isn't a lot of opportunity in my day otherwise. But thankfully my steady pace has gotten a bit faster lately, since I'm trying to convince myself to race again soon. Occasionally I cheat and call my downhill pickups intervals just for fun.
I realized the other day that I've been running for 20 years now. TWENTY! More than half my life! I started cross country my sophomore year in high school, and unlike naturally talented runners, I was thrilled to do the 3 miles in under 30 minutes. I ran because my sister started running, and i joined the team because a friend convinced me to go with her. I think my first practice was run in Keds, and someone lent me a rubber band for my hair since I'd shown up without one. I slowly improved, and my coach told me I'd "run a minute faster without all that hair." (I had long long, dare I say frizzy, hair.) By senior year I made Best of the Preps, which about 15 girls across the county were honored with, and it made my year. Of course I still wasn't fast! I'm not now either, but it really is amazing just how much running has directed my life. I can't imagine much would be the same had I not started all those years ago!
So off each morning I go to see what's around the next corner for me. Again, not a metaphor. :)
Since a certain someone was born, I've found that if the running isn't done before the husband goes to work, it's not going to happen. I'm still working on (contemplating) fitting the cycling back in on weekdays since the sun only rises after 7. But for now I'm enjoying my very dark runs. This town has some sort of ban on street lights-- something about the solar observatory nearby? that doesn't really make sense-- so there is ONE on my half mile long street. It doesn't get brighter from there, so unless the full moon is out, my headlamp, wrapped around my arm for easy button access, is necessary.
Running up in the coyote's neighborhood has me a little paranoid, and hearing the hissing of a sprinkler might have made me jump a few times (I swear it sounds just like a rattlesnake), and I may have startled and shined my superbright light in a guy's face since HE wasn't even wearing reflective clothing and was running right at me. I tend to turn the light off when I can make out the edge of the road and there are no cars nearby. It's quiet and cool and I can watch the sky over the mountains get lighter and lighter. And there are millions of stars!
There is an unfortunate new blemish in my route: a huge yellow concrete wall surrounding a developing neighborhood of crappy little houses. It completely blocks the mountain view that I had along the path for about a quarter mile. In some spots it's easily 10 feet tall, and it's so prison-like I'm completely expecting glass shards and razor wire to be added to the top soon. At least on my way out it is so dark I don't miss the view as much. I keep dreaming of ways to make it go away, all of which are unfortunately illegal. Darn.
Since running has been such a nice way to start the day, I'm having a hard time doing any type of intensity other than relaxed. It's just so nice to switch my brain off and enjoy myself. There isn't a lot of opportunity in my day otherwise. But thankfully my steady pace has gotten a bit faster lately, since I'm trying to convince myself to race again soon. Occasionally I cheat and call my downhill pickups intervals just for fun.
I realized the other day that I've been running for 20 years now. TWENTY! More than half my life! I started cross country my sophomore year in high school, and unlike naturally talented runners, I was thrilled to do the 3 miles in under 30 minutes. I ran because my sister started running, and i joined the team because a friend convinced me to go with her. I think my first practice was run in Keds, and someone lent me a rubber band for my hair since I'd shown up without one. I slowly improved, and my coach told me I'd "run a minute faster without all that hair." (I had long long, dare I say frizzy, hair.) By senior year I made Best of the Preps, which about 15 girls across the county were honored with, and it made my year. Of course I still wasn't fast! I'm not now either, but it really is amazing just how much running has directed my life. I can't imagine much would be the same had I not started all those years ago!
So off each morning I go to see what's around the next corner for me. Again, not a metaphor. :)
Friday, October 5, 2012
PRs and validation
Let me start with the most important news here lately. My husband is the proud owner of a new half Ironman PR and the current household record holder. Yep, he beat my old PR by a minute with his 4:48 in Augusta. Damn him. I mean, congrats, sweetie! If he hadn't taken so well to swimming with his massive paddle-like hands and Michael Phelps-like physique, I might still have the title of faster half Ironmaner. I'm so jealous of his super fast swimming on 5000m/week, it's ridiculous. Oh, haha. Did I say jealous? I meant proud. After all, I am mostly responsible for making him correct that stroke.
All of my PRs are getting pretty old these days, so it's really high time I earned some new ones. I guess you really need to race to do that. But you see I'm in no PR shape these days. Apparently I just tried too hard back in the day (just kidding) and those times seem unreachable right now. I know I didn't always shy away from races when I wasn't confident in a PR, or even a decent race, so why do I now? What, am I scared of people finding out how slow I am via athlinks? I put it all out there in this blog, so I must not be too shy about it. Really, I'm just not wanting to disappoint myself or confirm what I'm afraid of: I'm slow.
Everybody needs a little external validation now and then. Some need it at any cost. I read the most fascinating article in the New Yorker (here) about this guy, Kip Litton. It seems that he has not only cheated in dozens of marathons by somehow cutting the course (and wearing different outfits in the start and finish pics-- he really pays attention to details), but he has also created his own race, race website, fake runners, and athlinks profiles for those fake runners! If that doesn't scream sociopathy I don't know what does.
But maybe this deep need for validation from other athletes is more common than we think. Just this week while traveling I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler about Ironman and triathlons. He gave me lots of his times and stats, told me his impressive marathon PR, bike split averages, and that he'd walked onto the basketball team at a big D1 school. He even told me his kids' 5k times. A few things struck me as odd, like how short he was for a basketball player, how he claimed to be a really great runner but prided himself on not drinking or eating anything for his 30 mile training runs. My bullshit detector started going off. His triathlon times weren't all that impressive, and you'd think if you're going to make up times, you'd make them really good, right? And these days, who hasn't heard of athlinks and online race results? So like any doubter, I looked him up. His Ironman times suddenly became 90 minutes slower, and he must've meant his PR of 2:40 was for one of those "mini" marathons. I then felt really bad for a guy that he had to try to impress me with achievements. But why?
Of course, you could accuse me of making up my less than stellar 5k PR. With all the data on the internet for every race that I might've done in the last dozen years, why can my best 5k not be found? I've searched for that 2003 Gibson Guitar 5k result everywhere (does a PR still count if it's in the same decade?). I learned that over the years I'd given myself 4 seconds when I found my training log from 2003 recently. "Gibson Guitar 5k, 19:11, 2nd OAF." Wait what? I've had 19:07 in my head for years! Doesn't that just sound sooo much slower?
Not having an "official" recording of that race is disappointing for my athlinks 5k stats, but I'm somewhat consoled by the fact that my horrendous marathon about a year and a half ago is also strangely missing. I'm not even listed in the results. It's like it was just all a bad dream.
So my lack of a real 5k PR on athlinks means it's time for a new one, right? Or maybe I'll just make something up.
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While Jeremy was off PRing, we visited the cousins. Jackson: "It's a wrestling match! Hunter is winning!" :)
All of my PRs are getting pretty old these days, so it's really high time I earned some new ones. I guess you really need to race to do that. But you see I'm in no PR shape these days. Apparently I just tried too hard back in the day (just kidding) and those times seem unreachable right now. I know I didn't always shy away from races when I wasn't confident in a PR, or even a decent race, so why do I now? What, am I scared of people finding out how slow I am via athlinks? I put it all out there in this blog, so I must not be too shy about it. Really, I'm just not wanting to disappoint myself or confirm what I'm afraid of: I'm slow.
Everybody needs a little external validation now and then. Some need it at any cost. I read the most fascinating article in the New Yorker (here) about this guy, Kip Litton. It seems that he has not only cheated in dozens of marathons by somehow cutting the course (and wearing different outfits in the start and finish pics-- he really pays attention to details), but he has also created his own race, race website, fake runners, and athlinks profiles for those fake runners! If that doesn't scream sociopathy I don't know what does.
But maybe this deep need for validation from other athletes is more common than we think. Just this week while traveling I struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler about Ironman and triathlons. He gave me lots of his times and stats, told me his impressive marathon PR, bike split averages, and that he'd walked onto the basketball team at a big D1 school. He even told me his kids' 5k times. A few things struck me as odd, like how short he was for a basketball player, how he claimed to be a really great runner but prided himself on not drinking or eating anything for his 30 mile training runs. My bullshit detector started going off. His triathlon times weren't all that impressive, and you'd think if you're going to make up times, you'd make them really good, right? And these days, who hasn't heard of athlinks and online race results? So like any doubter, I looked him up. His Ironman times suddenly became 90 minutes slower, and he must've meant his PR of 2:40 was for one of those "mini" marathons. I then felt really bad for a guy that he had to try to impress me with achievements. But why?
Of course, you could accuse me of making up my less than stellar 5k PR. With all the data on the internet for every race that I might've done in the last dozen years, why can my best 5k not be found? I've searched for that 2003 Gibson Guitar 5k result everywhere (does a PR still count if it's in the same decade?). I learned that over the years I'd given myself 4 seconds when I found my training log from 2003 recently. "Gibson Guitar 5k, 19:11, 2nd OAF." Wait what? I've had 19:07 in my head for years! Doesn't that just sound sooo much slower?
Not having an "official" recording of that race is disappointing for my athlinks 5k stats, but I'm somewhat consoled by the fact that my horrendous marathon about a year and a half ago is also strangely missing. I'm not even listed in the results. It's like it was just all a bad dream.
So my lack of a real 5k PR on athlinks means it's time for a new one, right? Or maybe I'll just make something up.
.jpg)
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