Decision Time

Even with the elections over, I still haven't made my big decision this fall, which is to race, or not to race. The most urgent (and expensive) race decision involves Ironman Arizona. This Monday we will be D-day. Jeremy and I will be in Tempe, having watched the race and previewed the course over the weekend. 

You may wonder why I'm having a hard time deciding on this, since my past behaviors seem to indicate my haste in registering for yet another Ironman, year after year. But I'm hesitant this time. The past almost two years -- since I feel like I lost my running legs and lungs -- have thrown me for a loop. I don't know what's going on with this body that refuses to get back in shape. And while I, of all people, am not afraid to go out and crash and burn on an Ironman course, I sure don't want to set myself up for failure. A year out. 

I know once I get to the race and feel the excitement and remember why I love these events, I'll be pushing my way into the registration line and thrusting my $600 check at the nearest taker. But for this week, I'll be weighing the pros and cons (which are mostly my athletic inabilities) over and over.

The next racing decision I can wait just a little longer to make. Jeremy has signed up for the Phoenix marathon in January. I couldn't pull the trigger last month when he was offering to register me. And I'll probably wait until the last minute or until I discover that the race is full.

Last time I was in Memphis I went to my favorite running shoe store where I talked to my favorite running shoe store manager. He happens to be an incredible runner, and is training for his next 100 miler. Deciding when exactly to race, he said to me, "Like you, I don't race just to do it, I want to do well." Yes! Thank you for remembering that about me, when I almost forgot. I can't bring myself to do a marathon just to do it. Why would I want to run the same speed I ran in my last decent Ironman? I don't even think that's an accomplishment worthy of the leg pain it causes. And my only flat out marathon -- my first one, 10 years ago-- was just 3 minutes faster than that. I'm not going out there to PW, or to even PR by a minute or two. And at this point, my legs aren't proving to me that I would do any better than that.

Of course I could be using a false measure of slowness. I am comparing my Garmin data to my many years of runs lacking data. I've always just assumed I did whatever distance my legs felt like they did for that day. I'd go by time a lot, but never charted or measured distance. Now I'm obsessed with mapmyrun.com and my Garmin. Ackkkk. 

So maybe I've been running this slowly for years now, but just didn't know it. Maybe I could run a decent marathon. Maybe I'll just sign up under an alias, so my results won't be posted on the internet forever, just in case. 

Yes or no?? I guess it's still TBD.