Monday, February 10, 2014

When?

It's funny, the questions I am asked lately seem to come from two polar opposite standpoints. I am asked when I am having another baby or when I am going to do another Ironman. Maybe these come from the same line of thinking though -- it's time for SOMETHING right?

I shouldn't be, but I am a little amazed every time I hear of  a mom of a young toddler who is expecting again. First of all, who are these babies that let their moms have 30 seconds to themselves to even consider that there is time in the world to care for another? My little one may be shy around strangers, and he really likes to be at home lately, but he would probably be considered an "easy" baby by exactly no one. That is not a bad thing! I love how interactive he is, but it can be a little exhausting. I know this means he is learning so fast and wants me to keep him challenged all the time. But where would an infant fit in?

Secondly, Jeremy has pointed out that I am unusual in the length of time I have breastfed. It never seemed unusual to me, since my family is just the same. Recently I filled out an online survey about nursing past a year. It asked about everyone I had discussed this decision with, and how supportive they were about me breastfeeding past a year. I really hadn't considered it much until then, but I didn't give a second thought to nursing past a year. Of course I would continue, and I'm pretty sure I neither asked anyone's opinion (I knew the opinions of those who matter anyway) nor cared what others thought. I've almost gone two years now, and still there is no magic number in my head that will bring this all to a stop. It's the natural thing to do. Babies aren't meant to be spaced too closely together; moms' bodies are not ready for it, and the babies are not ready to give up the level of care they get as the youngest member of the family. So really, nobody breastfeeds past a year? I know I'm getting "old" but I can't quit something so good for my toddler for the potential sibling just yet. I definitely don't want to criticize moms who do choose to cut short their breastfeeding years. This is just something that I believe to be the right thing to do with my little one.

The next question, about when I will do another Ironman, I really don't have an answer for. My motivation to train says it is still not time for me. That's what I DID for 10 years, and I loved it. But this is a completely different season in my life, and I love it too. Ironman just doesn't fit in right now. I know my baby is almost 2, and so many moms are back out there well before first birthdays, and that's fine! It's just not for me.

I read a quote from a speedy age grouper that said something about there being no award for mom of the youngest baby at an Ironman. And that once those baby and toddler years are gone, they are gone! So true, what a wonderful time in their little lives. I don't want to miss too much, and I already miss my baby even when I'm gone for a couple of hours at a time.

But the competition to come back fast is very real in triathlon circles. It caused me a bit of stress right after my cesarean. I felt like I was lagging behind where I should have been. But really, everyone's open abdominal cavity surgery is different. Was it because I never went into labor? Maybe. Regardless, it was not a competition. Exercising as much as I did while pregnant and running until Hunter was born means I was just plain lucky. It didn't make me tougher than any other pregnant mom, or less lazy, or crazier either. Ok, maybe crazier. There is no standard number of exercise hours that will make you the fittest pregnant mama, or how many weeks you should take off after delivery, or how many months after the birth that you should be able to race or to PR. It's ok with me to not have a goal of getting in another Ironman until Hunter is in high school, if ever. I'll take my 6 or 7 hours a week of exercise and do the most I can with it for now. And hopefully I can keep Hunter's illusion of me alive. As he said, "Hunter fast, Dad slow, Mom fast." That's right baby, don't forget it!



4 comments:

  1. I think either way is fine. I know that I am ready to be out there doing ironman. (mentally, maybe not physically or emotionally yet). I get the opposite. I get people treating me as though I am selfish for wanting to race again and do endurance event. "A 5k should be enough for me." So, I think we all face this in different ways. But I absolutely agree that the pressure to "be fast" can be quite a bit as a new mom by others' expectations for you. I know I am absolutely not ready to do what it takes to be "fast." I am proud of my friends that can and do, but I have an awfully long way to go before I feel physically or emotionally ready for that part of the sport. I think you are doing wonderful! You are racing fast (to me!), I love that you are BFing (of course I do!) and I know that ironman will be there for you when you come back. Sorry, that was a book for a comment. Now go make that other baby! (how come no one is asking me that? don't they realize I am getting old too!?) xoxoxoxoxoxoox

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    1. I did do those two half IMs last year, so I kinda did have a little motivation I guess! Did I mention that I wish sometimes that I had more? :)

      You've got a year until they ask you when the next one is, youngun :) You do as much racing as you have the motivation for, and H and I will come cheer you on!

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  2. It isn't what you do, but who you are that counts. Life is about making the best decision you can and you are thoughtfully doing so.

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  3. As my diplomatic lactation consultant Mother always said when new moms asked her how long they *should* breastfeed: "The average world-wide is 3 years. You need to decide what is best for you and your family." She never made a peep of a comment on what a mom *should* do. (Some research actually sites more than 4 years is the worldwide average, but anyway...) Good for you Joy for going with your intuition!

    You athletic mom's super inspire me! I think you ladies are amazing athletes and amazing moms. I can't wait to meet up and do a race with you somewhere sometime!

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