Don't Get Complacent!

My college cross country coach would frequently yell these words at us during races, usually around a mile and a half into the 5k. I can picture him on the side of the Vandy course as we rounded a tree. Despite how we made fun of that phrase, it is actually a good reminder. How often in races do you find your mind wandering to that post race beer or massage while your pace gradually slows to something more comfortable?

When we get complacent in sports, are we satisfied with where we are with our fitness, are our current PRs good enough, and do we have no new goals? Or are we just comfortable with where we are and what we are doing, not ready to push harder? In other aspects of life we may find that we know enough, are good enough at our jobs and have a routine down that doesn't need changing. Complacency isn't always a bad thing, but in some areas, a little more ambition could help.

Hunter has ambition aplenty. He is not satisfied with what he knows of this world. There is so much more out there to learn and experience. There are so many objects to throw and games to play, places to explore and books to read. I'm trying to be more like little Hunter.

In the last few years I have been in a deep rut with my running, cycling and swimming abilities, but I never gave up the desire to be better and go faster. Now that my racing ambition is back, I need to remember coach's phrase in the heat of competition. It is easy to just get through the race, coasting along, but I would not be living up to my abilities.

As far as my life outside of sports goes, I've had a major career change this past year. Despite having pursued over 3 years of post-graduate education, with a degree to show for it, I feel so lucky that I am able to stay at home with Hunter and switch my career to being a mommy. So far this has been the most challenging job yet. I have to continually strive to be better; it is truly what I have been training for my whole life. Luckily there is some on-the-job training in mommyhood. Dr Sears says Hunter is making me into the mommy he needs, as long as I listen to him!

I know I make mistakes, and I am always trying harder. But I don't try to do better based on other people's convictions, just my own. I know I do things -- cosleeping, nursing my almost 1-yr old -- that other moms are targeted and attacked for, making them question their parenting and even feel embarrassed for their choices. The funny thing is, I cannot imagine feeling like I'm the one doing something wrong there. I've done the research. Sometimes I just know I am right.This is my baby; I know him best.

Still, while so much of parenting is subjective and based on each individual baby, I feel that some "methods" are just wrong. Letting a baby "cry it out" for any amount of time alone is damaging to their little developing brains, and there is plenty of research to back this.* Here is where some of my formal education comes through. In developmental psychology you learn about attachment theory and its extreme importance. You also study learned helplessness, which is a more appropriate term for the so-called "self soothing" that occurs after babies are left to cry. How sad is it that so many well meaning parents are led to believe that this is actually a good, Christian "child training" method? Trust your gut and learn from your guilt. I am so sad thinking of all the little babies out there so scared, alone, and crying for some personal comfort that is being denied. And no, their needs are not met if they are left alone crying. They NEED to be picked up and comforted.

I totally know I'm not doing everything right, and that's why I'm not getting complacent. I'm trying to learn from baby Hunter and other moms who think like I do. It's nice to know where I can find them, besides my family, of course (and Jenny says it much better). It seems I follow a lot of what Dr. Sears coined "attachment parenting." It's funny how you can go with your instinct and then find what you're doing is a "thing." Like how we started feeding Hunter solid chunks of food from our plates instead of purées? Yeah that's called Baby-Led Weaning, with weaning in this case meaning starting solids, not stopping breastfeeding. Who knew?

As I continue to be literally in touch with my little one almost 24 hours a day, go on to breastfeed a toddler, share my bed with him, and answer to all his cries and needs, not ever worrying that I will "spoil" him, I will surely be kept on my toes, never letting complacency stop me from being the best I can. Sometimes a little out of my comfort zone, it will be just like in triathlons, where getting a little uncomfortable is the way to break through and be better than you ever imagined.



*this is far from a research paper, because ain't nobody got time for that, but I have a few links to good articles that reference actual studies.

Crying It Out
Evolutionary Parenting: Educating the Experts. About Crying, Needs, Touch, Self Soothing, and Schedules
Damaging tiny brains with crying it out
Cosleeping FAQs by James McKenna 

 

Nursing Gymnastics

I have to laugh when I hear moms talk about relaxing in a chair for half an hour while nursing. Hunter has never nursed that long -- unless he's sleep-nursing. And it's anything but a calm experience. If I do manage to sit in the recliner,  he tends to latch on, then roll over into kneeling on my legs, and usually he tries to stand while still hanging on. One of his favorite positions for nursing is standing on our bed while I stand next to it. Sometimes I have to hold him dangling there. This usually occurs because I've dared to change clothes in front of him. If he catches me, he has to have a quick sample of milk. And if he catches my belly button exposed, it needs to be given a zerbert.

We drove up to Santa Fe last weekend, and if you've ever had a baby who can't stand to be contained by any means, you'll appreciate the variety of nursing gymnastics done in a car. But this time it's mommy who does the gymnastics. As Hunter sits comfortably in his padded lounge chair, trying to see around me, I've got my face smashed up against the window, one foot lodged against Jeremy's neck, and I'm doing an isometric pull-up on the ceiling handle. Going over railroad tracks makes this especially fun.

But when Hunter walks up to me, finds my hand, grabs a finger, and leads me to his excitement, I'll do any kind if gymnastics for him.

 Hiking in Santa Fe: "come see this mommy!"

 

Too big for his britches

My own PRs

The new PRs of the athletic kind aren't coming as quickly as I'd inferred they would from Dr. Clapp's book, so I'm making up my own. I am actually doing ok with the stroller running this week. For a while Hunter was waking up quickly when jostled over the stray rocks and large pavement cracks. Here's a tip: go over cracks at an angle even if it means looking like you're drunk driving. I understand it's hard to keep debris out of the street when 80% of the front "yards" consist of a few trees and, if you're lucky like we are, multicolored rock patterns (and as a side note, I have recently noticed THREE yards with actual grass in our neighborhood being dug up and replaced with rocks). But it sure is annoying to a sleeping baby to have to startle like that. So back to the running. I set a new record this week with Hunter tolerating the stroller while I ran 5 miles straight. Then I even walked a half mile for bonus. All at a (sad as it is) record pace with the BOB: 9 mins per mile.

Much more fun PRs I need to start recording have to do with my binge eating. I'm excited to have my appetite back after 9 months without one, and I may be overcompensating (probably why I am still hanging on to those 4ish pounds). 

-It started with Nutella. In just about 2 weeks I, all by myself, consumed two jars of the LARGE sized Nutella. I may have used 1/4 cup of it to make some banana bread.

-When my sisters were here we made chocolate chip cookies and before adding the eggs, ate the usual spoonful(S) of dough. After they left, I made an entire batch of cookie dough sans eggs and ate it straight. It was very deliberate. Jeremy helped me with it, thankfully. But who is left alone all day unsupervised with the stuff? 

-Next I made some brownie/cookie/Heath bars, but had to buy a couple of bags of Heath, since we ate them all before I could make the bars. They were just ok, so I sent half of them with Jeremy to work.

-Somewhere in the last 10 weeks we made dump cake, which is half fruit, right? We can finish that off in under 24 hours, easily.

-I refused to buy any more Nutella, but remembered that I had half a jar of dark chocolate almond butter, so I finished that off within a day.

-We have a neverending supply of ice cream at our house, usually Breyer's vanilla. Then J got me some Ben and Jerry's that I stretched into 2 days.

-I just finished off the Newman O's, but we've had those since Monday.

I wonder if this has anything to do with all the cooking shows I watch while nursing and rocking the baby. Thankfully on Chopped there's at least some inedible (to me) ingredient that helps take my appetite. 

What have I learned from this? Don't look at labels so often. When you see that a large jar of Nutella is 4000 calories (wait, it's not healthy?), it makes it just the tiniest bit less enjoyable. I should find more healthy ways to set PRs, or at least substitute some grapes or something for the chocolate. At least I can set attainable goals this way. Is anybody up for a binge eating challenge?

Short and sweet

I'm thinking back to my track and cross country days of running intervals of 200-1200m. While those 1200s around the "back 40" practice football field didn't seem so short, especially when dodging errant footballs and the occasional player, they appeal to me now. There's a lot of bang for your buck when doing speed workouts, and that's what I need now, in the days of timing baby feedings and daddy at home. 

I took off the garmin and even the watch, since I know the mile markers on my usual route. I've been trying to remember old workouts and even how it's supposed to feel to race again, especially those short painful distances. My latest run intervals have been pickups between light poles. My bike workouts this week have consisted of trainer intervals while watching Ironman videos (some of my favs are the 1989 Allen vs Scott and a 1985 classic). Conveniently, I can hop off the bike at a moment's notice to nurse and recover, then hop right back on for the next interval, a la Monday's workout. I haven't bothered to calibrate the computrainer lately, so i don't have an exact wattage to try to hit; every day is different. See, no pressure. Back in the days when I raced 5ks regularly I didn't have all this technology. I'm getting back to my roots, and hopefully some faster running. I'd be happy if I was anywhere near some of my old speeds.

Back in college, when I got converted to middle distance from longer stuff, I never thought about stride length or turnover or really even what shoes I was wearing. Therefore I'm having a hard time remembering those things that I barely noticed. I just ran workouts as fast as I could, or at the pace I was prescribed. I think I had a longer stride with a slower turnover, but it seemed more powerful than my current stride. Today's trend is toward a shorter faster turnover. I'd rather just not think about it and run fast.

It may be the shorter faster training, or maybe the lack of sleep and sleeping on my side all the time, but my legs and hips have been killing me. In the middle of the night it is worst, and subsides during the day, thankfully. The painful wrists and arms are another issue, but at least they don't effect my running!

I did find a couple of awesome bras from Moving Comfort. I highly recommend the Juno, and a close 2nd is the Fiona. They have adjustable straps that unhook and velcro in front, therefore nursing just before a run is totally doable. Not that Hunter sleeps in the stroller anymore, but at least we can try. It's been getting trickier to run with him. He's a happy baby except when his tummy hurts, and the reclining in the stroller isn't helping that tummy. We stay close to home so he can decide if we're cutting it short. He usually likes to take his first nap an hour or two after we get up, and that's the best time for me to take him out, since it's coolest then. We've been having good temps lately, but they're increasing, and I see that early next week is forecasted to be 97F. So it's first thing in the morning or not at all.

Another short and sweet thing in my life is this cute little boy, who's really not all that short. He's growing like a weed, mostly out, but up some too, which is to be expected given daddy's stature. We have to go in to the clinic tomorrow for the 2 month shots, so we'll see if he's doubled his birth weight yet. He's getting strong from practicing his jump squats on our stomachs, just like we saw him doing in an ultrasound at 12 weeks. Now that's something I need to be practicing myself. 

Good luck to Damie and the IMTX racers on Saturday!

In some shape

My big goal for the summer, besides sleeping 5 or more hours straight, is a return to racing. I planned my first attempt for the Ruidoso Sprint Triathlon, up on the mountain, just down the street from where Hunter was born. It occurred to me just this past week how quickly this race is approaching. It's in less than 6 weeks. In the past this would have seemed like plenty of time. This spring, time is flying quickly and my legs are not. I'm in some shape, but it's not race shape.

Back on the Quintana Roo for the first time since my last race in October, I realized that sitting straight up on the trainer or spin bike fails to train one critical area (no, it has nothing to do with the saddle). My neck and upper traps were almost shaking with effort just a few miles into the ride. Winter Neck is what I've always called the pain that accompanies the first few rides of the spring when you can't imagine how you ever spent more than 30 minutes in that atrocious position. (Do others have this problem, or is it just my bike set up? hmmm) It's worse than ever this year, and I realized it's because a good aero position is pretty much the opposite of nursing position for the neck area. And the latter is the position you'll most commonly find me in these days. I'm ready for a nursing ultramarathon. 

On the plus side of my baby training, my biceps are getting super strong with the gradual increase in my load (that baby is getting heavier every day). I'm also doing lots of deep squats, like when I have the baby in a carrier and drop something on the floor. You can't just lean over and dump the baby out. Balance is something else I'm inadvertently working on. This increasing baby load surprises me every time I go from sitting on the floor with him to trying to stand. He's now moving so much and getting so strong that he can throw me off balance without warning.

I actually went to the pool last week, and swam this time (instead of just chatting and showing off the baby). When I jumped in I immediately noticed the lack of buoy in my stomach. I practically sank. You'd think my two new buoys would help. I was super slow, but since I rarely timed anything while pregnant, I thankfully don't know if I'm actually slower now. On the up side, flipturns are significantly easier.

Since I've actually attempted each of the 3 sports required in a triathlon now, maybe I'm ready? In my crazy little mind I'd wanted to go faster than I did last year at this race (and beat that one chick on the run-- the one who told me my run was "there" but I needed to work on my swim -- what? my run sucked last year and she beat it).

The most important part of getting ready for this race might be getting a new race suit that covers a bit more. Any brand suggestions? It's been a while since I've gotten to choose. 

I've been training my little cheerleader with daily walks still. He's going to wonder why he's not participating.

Weekend Plans

We have a big weekend planned here. My sisters are both coming in town tomorrow with their babies Ethan and Annie. Hunter is the newest member of the Under 3 Club, and this is their first meeting. We're very excited (but we sure will miss the older two cousins). Jeremy has big plans as well. He'll be seeing Damie in New Orleans for the 70.3. Funny he picks my all time least favorite half Ironman. I am certain he will do much better than I did down there, and hopefully have a better experience.

In other news:

-I have already blown a BOB stroller tire. We get a ridiculous amount of flat bike tires out here with all the thorns and whatnot. I still haven't patched it yet, but it'll make it 3-4 miles every time I pump it back up.

-My running frequency has slowed a little. Plus I think every time I run it's for a shorter distance. I must've overdone it when I started (because running 3 miles two days in a row is waaaaay too much), because I was really feeling it in my abs/incision area, and I was super tired afterward. But I got in about 25 miles of walking/running last week, and I've continued with 3-4 more every day since.

-I ran a whole 1.25 miles without pushing the stroller yesterday. It was awesomely slow. My Garmin says 9:38 pace. My last run the day before Hunter was born was 6 miles at about 9:30 pace. So I'm lighter and ran a quarter of the distance and I'm the same speed. Gotta remember that whole abdominal surgery thing, I guess.

-And yes, I'm using the Garmin for my walks. I have no way of knowing how far I go since I'm not a consistent 15:00 mile pacer yet. I need some kind of number to log these days.

-I'm hanging on to that extra 4ish pounds still. It's probably because I actually like eating now.

-I actually like eating! For most of my pregnancy I wondered if I'd ever be interested in food again, and it has happened! I'm especially enjoying Nutella.

-Our second anniversary was this week. Can't believe it's been 2 years! Can't believe I've had a baby for 5 weeks either. I have the sweetest little family :)

-In breastfeeding news: this stuff really squirts. Hunter likes to nurse a bit to get it going and then pull back and let it go. This means we're both usually doused in milk. I've been caught without a burp cloth way too many times and have even resorted to catching it in my hand. Not so effective.

-My poor sleep deprived brain has finally figured out that I only have one baby. The first few weeks I was so confused in the middle of the night, trying to figure out which baby had eaten most recently. It culminated the night Jeremy brought me Hunter and I asked, "where's the other baby?" I had warned him of my confusion before, and he just said, "there is no other baby," probably while planning to look up which anti-psychotics are ok while nursing.

It's a beautiful day, so we're off for a walk!