Race Report: The Inaugural LTCM

I spent last weekend on the shores of Lake Toxaway, NC, with some great friends from college. We ate gourmet meals (thanks to Grant), relaxed on the pier in the sunshine, danced to some incredible bluegrass music, and raced against each other once again.


It was somewhat of an impromptu race; RJ, Grant and I scoped out the course just hours before the event. It seemed to be measured to the official distance, the transition areas were sufficient, the weather couldn't be better. We talked through the logistics and returned home, knowing we would be back to conquer this course that afternoon.


This multisport race actually consisted of many segments, but only two events: the run and the "transition." Lucky for me, one of my best events is transition, and if you're ever on Athlinks, look for my green boxes. These transitions, however, required some skill that I hadn't practiced in, well, years. But I was ready to suck it up and do the best I could.

The time came for the race to begin. We loaded up our supplies in RJ's car and headed the mile and a half over to the track. First we set up the transition area to provide us with the best flow possible, then came the warm up. There was some stretching of the running muscles, some pullups to warm up the curling muscles, and some pre-race photos taken for later entertainment (coming soon). The starting line was drawn and the race banner scratched in the dirt. The clock was set up and we took our spots by the starting line. Tabs were pulled and a toast to the old days of chunder was made just before our official timer counted down to "GO!"

I threw my head back and chugged like I did when I was a young 22. The Miller Light went down smoothly for a few seconds, until Grant admired my impressive skills and commented, "Joy, you have a problem!" A snort of laughter interrupted me and I had to stop for a gulp of air. RJ was off on his first lap! I finished those last few ounces amid incredible belches (these beers are not flat), and followed him out, about 50 yards back. At the first corner I turned around briefly to see Grant following closely, and he was gaining on me. I held my pace and kept him behind me going into T2. By that time the Spinnenwebers had arrived to provide support and more documentation in the form of photos and video. The cheering helped as I lost some time to RJ on the second beer. That guy has been stealth training his chugging! Grant came into T2 while I was still drinking and reminded me of a horrendous gastric event from the night before (not my own), in his attempt to sabotage my chug. It did cost me a gag, but haha, not enough to make me lose my ground on him.

RJ was increasing the gap on me and I had nothing to lose coming into T3. I popped the can open and downed that ML like a man dying of thirst in the desert and took off for another lap. I maintained my distance behind him this time, concerning myself more with closing in on him than keeping Grant at bay (sorry Grant). The last beer went down easily and I was almost within striking distance of first place. The Tornado glanced over his shoulder at his first opportunity, and I knew he was worried. Again, 100 yards later, he couldn't help but check again. I knew he was hurting, and I was gaining on him, running as fast as I do in a track workout. But alas, he was a middle distance runner in college, a sprinter compared to me, and I knew if I got too close, he would pull out the fast twitch fibers and turn on the jets. I rounded the last corner too far back to challenge, but in just the right spot to make him nervous for next year. Grant was still on beer 4 when I came across the finish line, so he was my official timer before he ran a solo lap to round out the podium. The race results aren't finalized until 5 minutes after crossing the line. A chunder results in a DQ, and I'm happy to say we were all official finishers.

I think I recorded a new PR in the Inaugural Lake Toxaway Chunder Mile. I was only 11 seconds back from RJ, second place overall. Success all around.

One mile run + 48 oz of beer = 9:23. Of this I am proud.