The Not-To-Do List

I've learned a few things during my previous 8 Ironmans, like what perseverence means, how to push through pain, the downs are usually followed by ups, blahblahblah. I've also learned some things I'd like to avoid in future races, like this Ironman Florida that takes place in 13 days. From personal experience:

• I will not cry at the beginning of the second lap of the swim because I'm still getting pummelled from all sides.
• I will not cry when I have to choose "2nd lap" over "finish."
• I will not lie down for 30 minutes on the side of the road at mile 16 of the run because I can no longer stay upright.
• I will not forget to sunscreen that little strip on my back between my shorts and my top.
• I will not get mad and yell at drafters on the bike (this may be the hardest one of all to avoid).

Ironman Florida 2007 DraftFest

• I will not try to do math during the run or get upset when I think mile 23 is approaching only to come upon the 22 marker.
• I will not attempt a right handed bottle grab when I know that it isn't pretty.
• I will not spend 17 minutes in T2 getting my blood pressure taken and having chips force fed to me. To avoid this:
• I will not hesitate when asked my name in T2.
• I will not have a meltdown if I lose all my salt tablets and my ibuprofen.
• I will not get the flu 4 days before the race.

Others have taught me some things I'd like to avoid as well:

• I will not wear a swimsuit bottom under my bike shorts.
• I will not drink Ensure or Boost or any of those other high fiber drinks during the race.
• Because of the above, I will not visit every porta potty on the run course.
• I will not wear a string bikini under my wetsuit.
• I will not wear nothing under my wetsuit.
• I will not fall asleep under a tree on the bike course.
• I will not stop for a beer and a 45-minute chat at the BEER STOP with one mile left in the race like Yves did (but we were glad he did):